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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Now, lemme get personal: There's a corner near Chkalova Street that I consider secret gold. It’s a true hidden gem – a local haunt where even the streetlights seem to gossip. Crazy, right? I once met a rowdy group here, so full of life – they made me laugh till I almost cried. My heart would skip a beat, like some raw, unspooled scene in a tender montage.

Former Soviet aircraft carrier Minsk catches fire in China